I asked Mickey to marry me on Valentines Day, 1998. She said yes, we got enagement rings. Mine was a diamond, Mickey's was a blue sapphiire in the same setting. But, there ws no civil marriage/unions or even domestic partnersips in 1998 in New Jersey. Eight years later, we became Domestic Patners on June 30, 2006. A few years later, Civil Unions were the law of the land in New Jersey. We remained Domestic Partners, since the new 'title' did not give us any added benefits in the eyes of the law or in our hearts. How many anniversaries or legal documents does one couple need to have their love recognized legally? We were waiting for the federal recognizion of marriage. Thank you Edie Windsor! DOMA was repealed June 2013, but NJ still did not have same-sex civil marriage. In late August, the Obama administarion acted. No longer did it matter what state you were married in, the Federal Government would recognize all same-sex marriages performed in States or Countries where it is legal. Do we drive five minutess over the George Washington Bridge & get legally married in New York where it was legal?

Around the same time history for the LGBT community was being made with the federal recognition of same-sex marriage in the USA, Randi found a spiritual home. After almost 30 years without a synagogue (Randi's story), we stumbled upon Congregation Beit Simchat Torah (CBST). We attended the second day of Rosh Hashanah services 2013 at The Jacob Javits Center in NYC and fell in love with the Rabbi, the synagogue, the community, the music, the services, everything. We joined online without speaking to anyone at CBST. We returned on Yom Kippur with plans to leave services by 6:45PM in order to break the fast. We had to get from Manhattan back to our home in New Jersey where our typical Yom Kippur break the fast kosher meal awaited. The service were so moving that in spite of fasting for 24 hours and knowing our 'break the fast meal' was waiting for us back in NJ, we stayed till the end of the service (8:30PM). We did not get back home until after 9:30PM and finally broke the fast! We were hooked! Once again Randi had a Rabbi, Rabbi Sharon Kleinbaum. This changed our decision to hurry and get a civil marriage in NY because now we wanted a Jewish Wedding.

"Rabbi Kelinbaum, is booked for a year", I am told on the phone. No surprise, New York has legal gay marriage. What to do? Another historic event was about to occur, New Jersey won in a court battle and legal marriages in NJ were to begin late October, 2013. Our Governor, Chris Christie, was fighting the courts on same-sex marriage with appeals at every turn.  When we finally were able to be legally married, we would save $528 a month on taxes. The federal governement taxes us on the health benefits that Randi recieves from Mickey's work as Mickey's "domestic partner" and not her wife.  The "gay tax" was expensive and tough on our bank account.  Within weeks, we could finally be legally married in NJ because Mr. Christie quietly gave up his appeal the day that same-sex marriages began by court order in New Jersey. Same-sex marriage was the law of the land in New Jersey. We decided to get the civil marriage to save the money on our taxes and wait for our Rabbi to marry us in a Jewish Ceremony in June. We went to town, filed for a marraige license and asked to be married by the Judge as soon as he was available. We were legally wed on November 15, 2013, 16 years TO THE DATE we first met each other. This union was apparently meant to be!